Thing 3

When I was in kindergarten, I very distinctly remember one event (and my cute teacher Mrs. Coil).

We had to stand outside until the teachers would let us in the building. (Yeah, kids used to have to stand out in the cold -- we all lived through it, too.) I thought it would be pretty impressive if I was able to climb the little fence that separated the evergreen bushes from the little cement step in front of the glass doors. Can you imagine? A kid who can climb a 3 foot fence!?! Now that is something that is sure to impress the fellas, and that the girls would like to see.

As it turns out, it might have been a lot more impressive if I had actually cleared the obstacle. I got to the top and caught the crotch part of my pants on the sharp "Y" that used to exist on the top of chain-link fences. I lost my balance, fell over the other side, and the fabric of my pants ripped from the crotch area all the way down my leg.

On the one hand:
Sharp metal stuck into my pants at the CROTCH, ripped all the way down my leg -- nary a scratch. I was very, very lucky.

On the other hand:
The best pants-fixing technology available at the school was a stapler and masking tape that had to be applied by the aforementioned cute teacher to my kindergarten crotch area. Not great.

The moral of the story:
If it is ever claimed that I am unimpressive, maybe that's because I learned my lesson on a cold winter day in my kindergarten year. Good night and God bless.

Soccer is cool!